Friendships or lies

I thought friends meant something.

Friendships is so valuable and so rare these days.
It's so hard to find someone who understands every part of you. Every feeling that could possibly be felt.

I have a hard enough time finding acceptance within my own home. Nevermind the people who pretend to like me to my face.

I met up with someone today, and I guess I saw a part of myself inside of him.
I don't know if he understood me as a person but he understood how I had felt.

Primary school wasn't exactly my heaven too but I didn't have the heart to tell him.
Though I probably should have reassured him he wasn't alone.

There's something peaceful in loneliness and the saddened feeling of fear.
I feel the sadness and the fear almost daily.

After over a year of being with my closest friends, barely 2 treat me like an equal.

Nothing other than a girl with an unfortunate life.

I've read their words about me before - what could a girl like Samara expect in her home life with an attitude like that-

Only if I was raised with two parents and money coming out my asshole like half the people I know

Fuck it sucks

I work for my money and I give when I can and it gets thrown into my face
I lend money and I don't get it back,  I do people favours with nothing in return, ever

I'm tired of second guessing my true friendships
I'm tired of helping those who don't need it
I'm tired
I'm - done