Decisions, decisions

One week later and I'm returning

Tomorrow morning at 8:00am I will be on my way to Melbourne City for the first time ever. 

I am ready to begin the first steps in my emotional cleanse before starting off my educational year of year 12 work. 

I'm corrupted 

Not by a person, by a thought 

I shared with you that I had faced a realisation of the fact that I no longer rely on the need to be with my mother.  Though ever since I left this morning, I feel homesick again. 

Homesick for my mother 

As I returned to my home of the past 12 months something felt different. 

Entering someone else's home again after being with my family made me reminisce on the emotions I felt when I first had to leave mum and Heidi 

It'a a wave of confusion and now I'm unsure of where I belong 

Unsure of who to stay with and who to leave 

This decision is one only I can make on my own but I just - I can't do this on my own

I'm afraid I'll be unhappy with the verdict 

I'm afraid of being lied to 

I'm afraid of being hurt again 

She brings out a side of me that makes me battle myself, though I can freely be who I am and not feel judged 

To stay with my carer or to leave? 

I'm battling a hard and large decision on my own