Happy Sunday from Australia.
I felt that coming here would allow me to express all that I need to.
The last week and a half have various turns of events and while I’m still finding my feet in the big smoke, I am determined to be the valuable, hard working woman I spent the last 4 years creating.
After a long and difficult journey in lockdown, all I wanted to do was create strong friendships with likeminded individuals who also wished to make a mark on this world.
I’ve began adventuring solo to bars in my area to find friendly, accepting faces that wish to connect with me.
It has been so incredible. Standing alone, smiling as strangers pass by and waiting with angst to see who bites.
Each time, after 1 shot of tequila and 5 minutes of awkwardly standing around I have been introduced to some very beautiful people.
These people may not be mine forever, nor are all of them on the same path as I. However, jumping out of my comfort zone made me truly appreciate the courage that burns inside of me.
As a lot of you know, I packed my bags and my entire life from the Gold Coast to move to Sydney for a work promotion.
After nearly a year working vigorously for my employer they had decided it’s time for a complete, company restructure.
What that means for me is, my role is once again changed.
Are you one of those people that need to feel valued in order to live a satisfied life?
Are you too someone that pushes themselves every day to ensure you don’t back track?
Are you regrettably one of those people that lean on others for support and guidance?
Me too.
Bloggers,
I suppose you could say I was lost in this fog. After achieving all that I have and meeting those with higher successes than I, it made me question everything.
It made me wonder if this burning potential that I always thought I had, even existed in the first place.
The biggest mistake one can make is to doubt yourself.
I think we all need a friendly reminder of not only what we have achieved in the past but how we got there in the first place.
This beautiful apartment in this large and lively city sadly didn’t just fall into my lap.
I didn’t wake up one day and have everything I ever wanted.
Blood, sweat and endless tears went into me being who and where I am now.
Some events I am not proud of and others I would do a million times over.
Repeating to myself what Dory once said, “just keep swimming”.
I climbed mountain after mountain and confused some of those for volcanos.
My life was like a game of snakes and ladders.
One wrong move and down I went.
Never giving up, determined to be nothing like my mother, I continued to climb.
Cutting ties with poisonous people and solely focusing on becoming the best employee, sister, daughter and friend.
In the 6 months I’ve lived in this incredible city, people have come and gone. Only few so far have stayed but these individuals have actually inspired me in their own ways.
Some mentored me on how to generate more wealth and to invest.
Others came from different parts of the world and showed me that if they can, I can too.
They definitely made my big achievements feel smaller although it pushes me to keep fighting for the life that I want.
There is no specific final destination. Just a series of goals that we reach in order to keep us moving forward.
Bloggers,
This adventure has changed me in an unlimited amount of ways.
Rather than comparing myself to others and feeling less valuable than what I really am, I shall continue doing what makes me happy.
I will continue helping those that need it. The voiceless individuals who look up to me to speak on their behalf.
I may not wear a uniform and I didn’t finish my university course.
So the next step for me, despite how scary it all may feel, is to return to studying and complete the course I had always wanted to finish.
It doesn’t matter if you’re 18, 23, 45.. as long as you get it done for yourself.
No I will not be working less hours. In fact, I am ready than ever to return to juggling multiple tasks each day.
I had a few of my new friends over the other night and one of them is going through a hard time.
Like the Mother Mary I am, I sat him down for a serious conversation.
He repeatedly verbally appreciated my home and where I am in life.
So I asked him, “you like what I have now don’t you?”:
“Yes, I love it”, he said.
“I want you to know that I too was in your place just a few years ago despite how it may seem. I was in a toxic relationship, excessively using recreational drugs, homes less and never having a stable living situation while being severely underweight. I hope you realise that all that I have now is achievable. One day enough is enough. Only you can change the outcome of everything. It won’t be easy but after a while it gets easier and you can have all of this and then some”.
It felt magical to know that I have inspired some of those I have met here.
The amount of random messages from complete strangers on social media thanking me and appreciating the journey that I am on.
That’s my calling in this life.
People assume that because times have been tough and there are moments where I am weak that I am unhappy.
Bloggers, I am far from being unhappy.
My stories are tragic and not for the faint hearted but I wouldn’t change any of it.
The experiences I have faced hold the power to save so many victims of the same abuse.
Children, adults, everyone.
I am so blessed to have the love in my life that I have and the never ending strength and determination that grows daily.
Sure, as I said, there are days I feel like a bear in hibernation but when you give so much of yourself to others, it’s important to recharge.
To refocus your energy on the right things.
Some of us have to try harder than others but we are all capable of doing all that we wish.
In the next 2 weeks I have 2 of my best friends in the Gold Coast finally coming to see my space.
I am so excited to show my old friends, my new life.
Once they leave I am on a plane and headed to Melbourne to watch my cousin walk down the isle to the love of her life.
The following week I am flying back home to the Gold Coast to celebrate one of my best friends birthdays.
I need these interactions more than anything right now.
To feel grounded amongst my loved ones and we all know my favourite place in the world is in the sky.
Life is a roller coaster, anyone who says otherwise is lying.
If you ever need me, ask and you shall receive.
From my cry to yours..
Until next time
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