It's almost that time of year.
Here I am, 11pm on December 23rd.
Wow, this year has changed much from the last. It's such a foreign environment. Family is such a strange concept.
Every year my grandmother would polish all of her English silver cutlery and there was this beautiful table cover. We would have Christmas carols playing, The tree would be decorated as a family and there would be a 3 course meal, followed my absolute favourite; family time.
Not only this, we would all have the same procedure every year. Decorative designs throughout the entire house. The smell of tinsel and setting up my favourite ornaments.
Waking up on Christmas morning was the most beautiful feeling.
This year there will be no carols, no decorations, no grandmother, no big sister and certainly no Christmas spirit.
I know I should have grown out of this excitement but it's more than that. It's not only a reminder that I'm older, but the realisation that there's nothing left of anything.
Oh grandma.
I miss preparing for this day with you.
This is a day that significantly reminds me of you.
Merry Christmas everyone. I hope the stars shine bright on this night and my heart is settled from these overwhelming feelings of loneliness.
Merry Christmas
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