Oh what a view I have.
Not to mention the sound of civilization blasting through the windows and balcony until early, early hours of the morning.
My door step is the centre of Surfers Paradise. Located above the night clubs on the Gold Coast.
The scent of bliss food. Any food in the entire world that you would like just a walking distance away.
Ugh, this is what I've been waiting for. I am the diamond that was in the rough.
It seems that every few months I am struck with disaster, pain, fear and destruction. In the past 6 months alone I have been kicked out of two homes and have been homeless for two very long weeks. I am proud to extend the fact that I made it out alive.
Maybe a little more damaged, but I still have the desire to continue striving as much as I can.
I am constantly tired.
Not only this - I am broke and unable to afford make up - these puffy eyes look as if I am drained of happiness. Looking like a victim of drug abuse or deprivation of some form.
Living with my brother, he questions my social life.
I don't understand why everyone tries to belittle me. I am a woman. They underestimate my plans to stay in school and bring success for myself.
If I am able to drive, attend school, get myself to work and pay half of the rent and the electricity bills, etc. I am most certainly capable enough to ensure I get home in time for school the following day.
Why does everyone fail to have faith in me?
Why does everyone seem to think I am a failure?
All these questions and little explanation for them all. Oh how this is horrid.
Stuck between being a child, a teenager and an adult.
It feels as if I have I have overcome a Title Wave and now my body is extremely exhausted and ready for a hibernation coma for the next 6 winters to come.
Just like my broken shower head and water machine, I know I will soon find a solution to these feelings of dullness, the feelings of utter loss.
Loss in ambition, loss in the last parts of myself that no longer exist.
Discovery Viewers,
It is a great achievement and strength to have the ability to build over the rainbow after the rain falls. It's keeping on top that is the real struggle. Just have to pursue my desires and ensure I do what is best and what is right for me and only me.
I have this, I always do.
Maybe not now but eventually.
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