Okay, I'm not going to sugar coat this one - being homeless is so.fucking.hard.
I know, I know, I've been staying at friends houses.
But returning to my car full of suitcases, eating either free lunch or the groceries I shopped for is just a brutal reminder that I am now, all alone.
At first, I hadn't come to terms with what this meant. I thought I could do it as easily as it looks.
On the bright side, my brother is looking at new places for us to stay at together. In case he doesn't find anywhere soon, a Homeless Youth Centre contacted me today and said I should be right to move in tomorrow night!
All I hear from people is how proud of me they are. Teachers are practically erected at the fact that I still want to go to University. Sure, it feels good to be humble about my achievements at staying in school and staying, well... alive. But, It is so draining. Mentally, Emotionally and physically.
Constantly having to remember where I am to go, What I am to do, and who I have to call back.. It's so difficult when you truly have to become something of yourself. This is what growing up feels like.
Today was the first time in the last few weeks that I finally let it out. Only half of what really needed to be expressed. This inner urge to do good for myself is controlling my sanity.
Attempting effortfully to improve my situation, I - as usual - find myself in the pits.
Oh Lord, I know you have something in mind for me, I am just so interested to know what.
I have complete faith within myself although it's only ever proved me wrong.
If I quit now, I won't achieve the things I wish to
Discovery Viewers,
Sometimes shit happens. I'm still trying to find a way to over come this obstacle that seems a little larger than a lot of things I've been dealt with before
I got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment