According to Samara

So, I just watched According To Greta (Hilary Duff)

There was so many angles in this movie that mirrored my own life.
I guess our past reflects who we are now and how we deal with the problems we face.
We can't be with people if we're dealing with ourselves and instead of running from the problems that hurt us most, you should face them.

I say this, though how?

I'm still struggling to imagine a day that I can see my mother without cringing. Without my stomach clenching at the fact that she just abandoned me.
She chose a 27 year old man over her 17 year old daughter that she gave birth to.
What if she turned on my 10 year old sister? What would that little girl do?

How do we face the problems that destroy us in the mean time?
How do we stop trying to remember just to face them in the end anyway?
She may change but how can I forget what has happened?
How can I forget the fact that I'm lying in a bed that's not my own?
How can I forget the fact that my best friends' mum is the person to take me to the bus stop every morning, or to work?

This is larger than anything.

There are so many questions that I still hold, 9 months later.

9 months.. feels like a day when every passing moment is just a reminder that nothing is the same.