As of recent my blogging style has changed. I hadn't realised it until I re-read every one of my posts over and over again - Like a dishwasher on cycle.
A few months ago, at the end of each post I would use my experiences and emotions as a way to reflect on how I could have changed things.
Depending on my head space at the time of writing the post depended on how my reflection panned out.
Entering the school with 6 days remaining was somewhat refreshing. God, to think I walked these halls for 4 years and completed 14 years of schooling.
Lets look back for a moment:
Prep:
On my arrival I recall good Ol' Viki (The horse girl) yelling at me for not playing with the lego correctly. I hadn't heard a school bell before so she was disappointed I didn't pack up by the time the beeping began. That year I also thought writing sentences meant putting full stops at.the.end.of.every.word. Hm, Thankfully I became increasingly literate over the years.
Year 1:
Oh the days I fell in love with Kyle Downing. A South African boy who's father was our sports teacher. The same year that mother was a volunteer worker in the library. The first library that captured my heart. It truly was a place for bookworms.
Year 2:
I learnt how to french Sew. I think that's what you call it? I had now lived in Lowood and I met my first reckless soul, Tymeika. A red head with fiery intentions. Third year at West Moreton Anglican College and my days were far from finished. I broke my arm on the monkey bars being impatient with the other smart ass grade ones who believed they could jump farther than me. Me, trying to prove them wrong - ended up spending the day in hospital.
Year 3:
I wanted Mr. Harvey so badly but of course, just my luck, I didn't get him. This was also the first year I was introduced to bullying. Unfortunately, my best friend was the first prime example of this sadness. I recall her kicking me under the table till I had bruises and as I went to tell a teacher, her pretty, angel face declared that it was all my doing. Walking home with bruised shins, no punishment was pursued.
Year 4:
The year I thought I was all grown up. 5 years of schooling and allegedly I was an einstein. This was the year I had truly noticed my love for writing. I began creating short stories, narratives, poems and would decorate the title pages. To me, an author was all I could ever be in this innocent world.
Year 5:
My first year on the Gold Coast. The hardest change I believe I have ever had to do. I was excited. I mean, I didn't have many friends in Ipswich and I considered it to be an exciting new change for us all. Little did I know that this was the beginning of the hardest years of my life. Now I see it as a blessing in disguise. Where would I have ended up if I stayed there? What about Tim?
Year 6:
The years my Tourette's played immensley. Mother's husband committing suicide (attempted) as well as my verbally abusive relationships with my teachers. It was as though this pure, innocent girl (Don't get me wrong, I was a terror when I wasn't on medication) had vanished. I was consumed with anger. Eventually the teacher had to move me into another class and every inch of security had left me. My outspoken self and rude behaviour - left.
Year 7:
The year I found my interests in life. Ones I still carry out today. Social Science and English. Debating and public affairs. I can honestly say that Mrs. Thompson is the foundation of my English. I carry her advice even today when I am thinking of what I am writing. I met many people who I still, occasionally see. This year was huge in terms of bullying and self worth. The first year I attempted to wear make up and overcome my own hormonal changes. My body changed phsycially and I could feel it.
Year 7:
Repeating Grade 7 in Tweed was a huge punch in the face. I entered the school gates with my hair tied back, slick, as a plait and twisted into a bun. I was topping the class in English, Math and Science. Until I met someone. My first love. Believe it or not, it be a girl. This wasn't romantic. Often people would tell me that I was a rose between the thorns. After being so intwined with her life, I picked up her habits. Smoking marijuana, drinking. I was 12. The best memories of my life were in Tweed and I still, to this day, carry some of those friendships with me in my new life.
Year 8:
The beggining of St. Michael's. Coming from Tweed my friends had told me to be "cool". To have the latest everything and to be above everyone. Now that I am nearly graduating, I see now how wrong they were to give me that advice entering a new ground. I made some sweet friends, most of which I no longer talk to. I believe my first boyfriend also entered my life at this time and swept me off my feet.
Year 9:
This year is honestly a blur. But I do recall nude photography to be going around the school in which we all had a serious conversation with the police. The rest was really having my head down as I thought year 9 was extremely important..The year I found my first love. Little did I know the next 2 years was going to be love inspired and hate fueled.
Year 10:
The year schooling escalated. I had enetered the grade I always wished to be in. The "older" girls. Funny to see now how little grade tenners are and how much learning is to be done until I am classified as an adult. I lost some friends and I gained them and my party years with my new friends had kickstarted - yet again.
Year 11:
My life had changed drastically. The year my house was raided. Not only did I lose my grades, but I lost myself. Teachers were constantly asking me if I was on downer tablets (offensive, yes!) but it was just the Depression that sat helplessly on my face. I failed a lot, I achieved a lot and I journeyed to Canberra for my Heywire Summit.
Year 12:
What a year. I spent half the year catching up from year eleven, and the other half running from year 12. I found many new loves, lost myself, found myself and built relationships with my teachers that I should have appreciated more throughout my schooling. I walked out of the doors disappointed in my attendance and effort towards school events but content with how far I have come.
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