Finally

Happy new year bloggers!

I have been so scattered in my thoughts, goals and ideas that I haven't been in touch with my bloggers in a while.

2016 ended with a bang.

Graduation, formal, work, schoolies, christmas, dad's birthday and my new found boyfriend who has created a path behind us.

I woke up on the first of January overwhelmingly consumed. Half from the suffocating arguments my boyfriend and I were having, but more importantly, a significant sensation of pure failure.

The amount of times I have felt lost in my life does not compare to anything else.

Though, the 1st was the only time that the feeling of being lost truly sat on my frown line.

What was I going to do this year?

Maybe I lost who I really was and who I really wanted to be on the windy roads of last year.

I found some true friends. Ones I never thought would hold my hand during a time of need.

Part of me feels as though I am falling into their bad habits due to their respect and friendship with me.

There is this fire inside of me that seeks; thrill, adrenaline and recklessness.

As the past few months quickly scatter like 'roaches in a nuclear bombing, I found an anchor to my urges.

Something let go. As if...

wait.

Bloggers, I believe this feeling I am referring to is closure. 

I wasn't sure what that was meant to feel like, or really, how long it would take as well. But, I've let it all go. A cloud with sobbing rain.

My depression; my overwhelmingly consuming sadness has gone.

Only if my anxiety and negative perspective of my own self image had vanished with it.

The voices that speak the words I wish to never hear. Winding their way into my ear shot when I am to look at myself in the mirror.

Thanks to my brother, I attended Bond College today.

Bond Universities undergraduate degrees.

I did it. After completing the application immediately after this blog, I am to start studying this month. Everything I wanted and everything I had forgotten.

Even though I remind myself constantly to get my life back on track, I really need Tim to help me.

My strength alone is enough, though my weakness isn't, therefore I needed someone to guide me along the way.

Viewers,
I bless you all a happy new year. To the new year and the new opportunities




P:S - I'm sorry to those who couldn't make it..

The new year is cloaked with opportunities,
To the hello's and brand new days.
The new year holds forgiveness,
Love, loss, rain and sun rays.

Where the stars come to light the sky,
The sun fades to a bed.
Where the new year turns a new page,
Cries silently about those who are dead.

The new year will provide new life,
Will support growth and ambition.
The new year will be blessed,
The world in better condition.

Where the wolf of midnight,
Howls seemingly for his pack.
Where I will always sit here sobbing,
Wishing you were back.

J.U & R.H


-Samara Ward