It's like a dark cloud.
It comes, it goes, and sometimes it rains.
It's always there with no way to explain.
It hovers tragically like blind mice in a childrens book.
For long lengths of time now it has felt as though there is barely a worry in the world. Barely a thought to bipass or a highway to stand in the middle of.
The lack of friendships, relationships and trust between people have swollen the inside of my throat, my brain and slowly combining and intwining with my soul.
I feel drained, inspired, blessed and lost. A brain with multiple chemical reactions clashing and creating some form of corrosion.
In simplified Samara thoughts, this means I had forgotten.
Forgotten that I am naturally a sad person. Diagnosed a sad person.
Why am I over thinking? Projecting vile thoughts towards those who would never think the words I hear in my head.
I am genuinely wondering where my spirit had left me for.
I need a job. Money.. Love.
It's all so daunting.
Finding a new job just to need a new one a few months later.
I can see the weakest people surround me and fall tremendoulsy. Maybe that makes them strong? For having the capability to stand on two feet after being knocked down countless times; physically, emotionally and financially.
I've looked into eyes that I recognise but there personality was faint. They have slightly vanished and I would do nothing but help them. Tragically I am unable. Not only am I too young for people to consider my advice but I also have my own issues I don't understand.
There are so many life-changing days passing and I need to chase the bigger and more open opportunities.
Bloggers,
I am doing great. Though my own, personalised cloud follows me into the next days.
I have my support people and my goals. It's up to me to go for gold.
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