As I began reading my previous post I had to start this one just half way through. This anger is sizzling inside of me like steaks on a barbecue.
I have returned to this familiar emotion again. One I didn't want to but knew one day I would have to face. It seems as though no space is large enough for me to scream every aggressive, unconfined thought that passes through me.
Wanting something so badly for so long and the last opportunity for survival is now lost. I took my heart back and claimed it as my own. I can't deny having to find comfort in myself again hasn't been easy. Like cheating on a test, I have all the answer in front of me. I just can't take responsibility for it.
My friend, my family. All had provided me with advice that I refused to take and now this engine can't be replaced.
Our motor won't start again because we've been pushing it too hard for too long.
Tossing and turning in my sheets, I can only imagine what my poor brain is fretting about. The fact that just like my phone plan, all my support services have been disconnected. Or maybe because everyone who was meant to love and appreciate me, tried effortfully to destroy the walls I have built to protect myself.
My dreams are coming to light. Now I finally have the chance to become who I wanted to be. I'm trying every waking moment to ensure I pursue that thought on my negativity. Don't let this consume me.
I read something a friend had sent me. It was something a long the lines of "when life gets tough don't scream "why me!?", scream back, "try me!".
It made me think of the countless times I've nearly thrown up from yelling "Why me?". How peaceful it would have been if I had of shouted "try me!" instead.
I have returned to this familiar emotion again. One I didn't want to but knew one day I would have to face. It seems as though no space is large enough for me to scream every aggressive, unconfined thought that passes through me.
Wanting something so badly for so long and the last opportunity for survival is now lost. I took my heart back and claimed it as my own. I can't deny having to find comfort in myself again hasn't been easy. Like cheating on a test, I have all the answer in front of me. I just can't take responsibility for it.
My friend, my family. All had provided me with advice that I refused to take and now this engine can't be replaced.
Our motor won't start again because we've been pushing it too hard for too long.
Tossing and turning in my sheets, I can only imagine what my poor brain is fretting about. The fact that just like my phone plan, all my support services have been disconnected. Or maybe because everyone who was meant to love and appreciate me, tried effortfully to destroy the walls I have built to protect myself.
My dreams are coming to light. Now I finally have the chance to become who I wanted to be. I'm trying every waking moment to ensure I pursue that thought on my negativity. Don't let this consume me.
I read something a friend had sent me. It was something a long the lines of "when life gets tough don't scream "why me!?", scream back, "try me!".
It made me think of the countless times I've nearly thrown up from yelling "Why me?". How peaceful it would have been if I had of shouted "try me!" instead.
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