Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Dear thief, or old friend

Dear the person who robbed me. Or to the person who was once my best friend.

Whoever you are. I wouldn't know because you say one thing and hide behind emotions that you never shared.

Like your silence when I clutter away my outrageous thoughts. Never knowing much about you - what you thought. Yet you knew everything about me.

Making me question yet another person closest to me, "was any of this real?".

From a $180 Half on Valentines day, to pressuring me to walk beach side to facing the same police officer who did us on Burleigh hill, having to press charges against you.

What hit me harder? The fact my best friend in the span on 24 hours betrayed and ruined nearly a years worth of memories or that he allowed someone that constantly hurts and damages both his feelings and properties into the home I welcomed you in.

Especially after knowing everything I had once shared. Every battle God threw at me that I had finally come to terms with and had over come.

I'm not sure what sucked more. The fact that I encouraged you to find work, even offering a position with my company or that you destroyed and stole my grandmothers and my belongings for 2 people who not only regularly tried to bring me down to their level but we both agreed had no direction in life.

As easy as it was to take it to the police for what you had done, you made me question how long this plan was in action for. Or was it last minute?

I know you only handed the watch in to save your own ass. I imagine your mother being as heart broken as I was.

Don't be fooled by this letter. It didn't take long for the love and respect I had for you and our friendship to fade, completely.

But you never gave me a legitimate answer... Why?

What could I have possibly done to have deserved that from you of all people?

What gave you the urge to give Kirsten, a girl who foolishly tarnished you to me regularly those belongings that weren't even mine, but someone who is no longer here that meant the world to me.

For me, talking badly about someone who had done so much for me, someone I confided in for trust and a true friendship just wasn't an option.

But it felt like that was the only one you had.

I'd tell you everything else you did that destroyed me temporarily but I wouldn't give you that satisfaction because it took me till a few months ago to learn, finally, what a real man was. Not only that, but what respect was.

Sam, whoever you are now, however you feel now, Ask yourself... "What did this girl that clearly valued our friendship so much - what did she do to deserve even allowing James to know where I had lived?".

What blows my mind even more, the amount of horrible things you said about Kirsten and James yet you allowed them to do this to me, someone who you knew was trying percussively to get their life sorted. Asking you daily, "Sam, How we can get rich together?". 

Not affectionately which is one reason of the few I could think of that gave you this motive. Maybe a friendship wasn't enough for you. Little did you know much it meant to me. Again I question, "Is this why you did this to me?".

For months I told myself you weren't even worth something as well written and deep as this. But maybe it's what you need to read.

Was it because we spent so much time together but I always ended up beside someone elses side? Because if you turn that around, I ended up with someone else but spent all my time, quality time with you.

That's something, a friendship you will never receive again, at least not from me anyway.

What about all those apartments, the times I shouted drinks and things like that. I confided in you for opinions and even when you didn't say a word I could sense how you felt.

The time you broke down crying in Surfers because you felt hurt by me and I told you That everything is okay, Sam. You don't need me or anyone to be happy and I hugged you and waiting for you to follow us so you got home safely.

But of course you'd only remember my impatience when you didn't get me straight away. Because a demanding friend is the biggest monster of them all, right? That's how you thought?

The worst part is, like I said before, I now have no idea what was real and what's not.

I just want one response, whether it be a word or something like this, but Sam Mostyn-Smith..


WHY did you not only betray me, break into my home but steal my belongings with no explanation..? Then lastly, hack into my facebook account - clearly showing you knew me so well you knew what my password would be.

Maybe if you can do right but answering truthfully, you will get some good karma. Not a fake-hearted apology that will get you a smaller court sentence.

For once, be honest with me. If you don't waste your breathe responding, that says enough in itself.

But I do pray that what ever bad decisions you've made and will continue to make don't effect the man I thought you once were.

Loyal and kind.

I was wrong, but that doesn't mean you can't be for your friends in the future.

Unless we run into each other in public, good-bye, Sam. You really let us both down.

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