Welcome to the end of 2018.
The year, the first year - I had reached the goal, or the new years resolution I had desired.
"Face your fears, don't run. Not anymore."
I let go of a love that I held so deeply and found a new one within myself.
I didn't like how I had felt, or how I had looked. Or more so, how others made me view myself.
Again, I have so far to go. But for now, this life is the next best thing.
Good bye 2018 and also good bye Samara 2.0.
It's time to continue my journey to my next discovery, or next version of I.
A few days ago my brother had surprisingly found his way into my arms once again. 2 years too long yet for him, maybe not long enough.
That's okay - that's his experience not mine.
And as the new seasons roll in like ocean waves, or the turn - over rate in a sales company, I yearn but will not search for acceptance and a healthy relationship with one who consistently puts me first like I will to them.
Another beautiful year of education, self value, maybe sport.
It's sad having to chase someone you love so deeply to stay by your side on a night like this but that's another lesson I have learnt before the midnight fireworks separate us from last years note-to-selves and next years.
The hand we thought would hold us forever, never seems to do so for long enough.
Fighting to change my perspective from "what a waste of the last 12 months. All of this for nothing", to "everything happens for a reason and I am so, so lucky to have met and to be involved with someone like him.".
From being robbed from my best friend, to never letting my guard down.
From not realising the skin and bone that hadn't existed to taking much care of my health and wellbeing both mentally and financially.
So many people fell in the last 12 months but I have never felt so alive. So content. So ready to fail again just so I can feel the power in my blood again.
Ready to broadcast my writing in the months to come and learn even more that I can love about myself.
My new years resolution for 2019... Take your power back!
You finally know what you're capable of. For the first time in years seeing straight, seeing clearly. Like that psychic 2 years ago, looking through that crystal ball. Where all the answers fell into my palms.
Coming onto 21, I'd say my wisest years yet to be.
Viewers, Good luck! Do not stop looking in that mirror and staring back at your reflection. Whether for inspiration or self doubt. Just know both will lead you to the place God is directing you to go.
You've got this.
The year, the first year - I had reached the goal, or the new years resolution I had desired.
"Face your fears, don't run. Not anymore."
I let go of a love that I held so deeply and found a new one within myself.
I didn't like how I had felt, or how I had looked. Or more so, how others made me view myself.
Again, I have so far to go. But for now, this life is the next best thing.
Good bye 2018 and also good bye Samara 2.0.
It's time to continue my journey to my next discovery, or next version of I.
A few days ago my brother had surprisingly found his way into my arms once again. 2 years too long yet for him, maybe not long enough.
That's okay - that's his experience not mine.
And as the new seasons roll in like ocean waves, or the turn - over rate in a sales company, I yearn but will not search for acceptance and a healthy relationship with one who consistently puts me first like I will to them.
Another beautiful year of education, self value, maybe sport.
It's sad having to chase someone you love so deeply to stay by your side on a night like this but that's another lesson I have learnt before the midnight fireworks separate us from last years note-to-selves and next years.
The hand we thought would hold us forever, never seems to do so for long enough.
Fighting to change my perspective from "what a waste of the last 12 months. All of this for nothing", to "everything happens for a reason and I am so, so lucky to have met and to be involved with someone like him.".
From being robbed from my best friend, to never letting my guard down.
From not realising the skin and bone that hadn't existed to taking much care of my health and wellbeing both mentally and financially.
So many people fell in the last 12 months but I have never felt so alive. So content. So ready to fail again just so I can feel the power in my blood again.
Ready to broadcast my writing in the months to come and learn even more that I can love about myself.
My new years resolution for 2019... Take your power back!
You finally know what you're capable of. For the first time in years seeing straight, seeing clearly. Like that psychic 2 years ago, looking through that crystal ball. Where all the answers fell into my palms.
Coming onto 21, I'd say my wisest years yet to be.
Viewers, Good luck! Do not stop looking in that mirror and staring back at your reflection. Whether for inspiration or self doubt. Just know both will lead you to the place God is directing you to go.
You've got this.
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