I'm honestly not too sure how I let myself, at the beginning of a new year , be so stupid. So fucking blinded.
8 year old me would never approve of me being second best.
I have failed myself because I let someone else fail me. Someone who still has no clue the kind of person that I am. That I wish to be. That I know I will be.
To think after 2 failed - sorry, completely fucked up - relationships, I was sure I had this one down pat. No stone un turned.
I fooled myself thinking the harder I loved someone, the more they'd love me.
In reality you can't force a love upon anyone.
Usually by this point I'd be in hysterics, screaming "why me, God!? He's all I want".
But now I sit in a flat silence wondering when I'll find someone else who knows my worth 100%, 24.7 with no intentions or googly eyes wandering upon other women.
I deserve so much better than someone who knows everything about me; inside and out, who still chooses to use the words that he does. The constant belittlement but because he helps me out, does favours when I need to him making him believe he can disempower me when he likes.
No.
Samara from 2019 is not about that anymore. Anything that tries to hurt me, disregards me, will not know me. Stay strong.
Ladies, remember everyone has their time. Time to fall, time to rise and time to breathe.
You are so beautiful and the loyalty you hold for the ones you love is crucial. Don't change that about yourself because many around you couldn't hold only you close to their hearts.
Time to be the strongest person you know.
8 year old me would never approve of me being second best.
I have failed myself because I let someone else fail me. Someone who still has no clue the kind of person that I am. That I wish to be. That I know I will be.
To think after 2 failed - sorry, completely fucked up - relationships, I was sure I had this one down pat. No stone un turned.
I fooled myself thinking the harder I loved someone, the more they'd love me.
In reality you can't force a love upon anyone.
Usually by this point I'd be in hysterics, screaming "why me, God!? He's all I want".
But now I sit in a flat silence wondering when I'll find someone else who knows my worth 100%, 24.7 with no intentions or googly eyes wandering upon other women.
I deserve so much better than someone who knows everything about me; inside and out, who still chooses to use the words that he does. The constant belittlement but because he helps me out, does favours when I need to him making him believe he can disempower me when he likes.
No.
Samara from 2019 is not about that anymore. Anything that tries to hurt me, disregards me, will not know me. Stay strong.
Ladies, remember everyone has their time. Time to fall, time to rise and time to breathe.
You are so beautiful and the loyalty you hold for the ones you love is crucial. Don't change that about yourself because many around you couldn't hold only you close to their hearts.
Time to be the strongest person you know.
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