Empty Handed & Happy

It's me again. 

Usually in this very moment my blog would probably end up being some big life lesson on trust and how upset and frustrated I am by what has happened to me this week. 

For some reason, there's this light feeling within that isn't fierce and fiery. Acceptance maybe? Even today teaching my inexperienced friend to drive (she rarely needed me), in the most anxious positions that even yesterday would have terrified me, didn't. 

Stay calm. I believed what I was saying. 

Walking myself, empty handed, accepting my losses, outside of the police station, I nearly forgot exactly what it was that I was so afraid of. 

I suppose my history comes in to play. Every time a person in uniform has come to me or that I have gone to them has always been due to an event that I wish had never taken place. Unfortunately, me being prone to the worst traumas one can have in a life, I have seen those stations far too many times. 

Bloggers, I did it. 

For the first time in the twenty one years I have wandered this planet, I had reached my financial goal. 

Not only reached but exceeded and for the first time in a long time there's no end in sight to my income. 

Finally living again. 

Driving, something I never thought I'd have the courage to do again. Every day training myself, my mind, my mentality that I am not in danger. That my accidents were simply mistakes. Mistakes can be fixed and I know that I am strong enough to endure anything. 

If I never get behind the wheel again how will I ever say goodbye to you Grandad?

How will I see my father who's just a few cities away?

How will I feel my wings soar amongst the tar?

I bought a car. As my dad reminded me, usually I would brag about something I had been longing to achieve for so long. Though I must tell you it's not bragging, it's an endless appreciation for the effort and for the back story of how that item or object was achieved. 

For some of us, we don't have a family that always supports one another; financially or emotionally. 

Those ties were cut long ago. 

So for me to achieve my goals, I am so happy to share them with those around me. For the ones that discouraged or did not have faith in me, and the ones that held my hand every step of the way. 

I was going to dive deep into my car troubles but I think I'll leave that for another day. 

Bloggers 

I must run for now, but remember to pick your battles. Don't let the darkest parts of others get in the way of your positivity.