Sprinting to Success

 Feel like the world is taking advantage of you?

In relationships, friendships, the workplace?

Have a talent buried so beneath the surface that you're unsure what to do with it?

Well, readers, I can relate.

Sometimes it feels like I'm running a marathon and my efforts are taking me nowhere.

My dreams and aspirations are sky-high compared to where my feet are glued.

Trying to make all the right moves to bring me one step closer to a place I wish to be and being undervalued, unnoticed, and dismissed.

I don't want to be a marketing, cold caller forever. 

I've been questioning today whether I made the right decision coming here.

I'm feeling a little..lost. Like the pound collected me and I'm sitting here contemplating if I escaped for all the right reasons and if and when I will know what's about to happen next.

When I ran beside the highway last night and explored the place that I now call home, it felt like I could run for weeks.

No real destination, no real reason. Just a train soaring its tracks, stopping nowhere.

My legs burn today as do my passions.

Ever feel like you're so much more than what you are today?

Like your skills are going to waste? 

I don't know what I am meant to be doing right now but it doesn't feel like this.

I was made to be more and to do more. However, I am someone that never seems to be completely satisfied. 

Once I reach a point there is always something else I want that is "better".

My fight in this life isn't with anyone else but the struggles I have with myself.

Man, oh man do I miss my Maleficent.

Coming home exhausted still doesn't seem to force my eyes closed.

My dreams are as extraordinary as ever.

As much as I feel like I shouldn't be here I realise that I would be running back home to nothing.

The same failed relationships, the same drama, and obligation to be something for the people I shouldn't be there for. 

I know success is awaiting. Something big. Right now I just feel like a goldfish in an ocean which is one of the reasons I moved to Sydney. 

I wanted to be swimming amongst the sharks. 

I wanted to be the big fish. 

I'm hungry. Hungry for the version of I that I believe I have climbed mountains to become.

Barely reminding myself of the hurdles I have leaped over and solely focusing on the treasure at the end of the rainbow. 

Still weeks away from being able to meet anyone. To have the ability to make new friendships and relations. 

Still weeks away from picking up my car, surprising those I love with my brief return home, and collecting my cat.

They say home is where the heart is but as of late I'm struggling to see where exactly that is.

What does Samara Ward want?

Am I asking too much? Am I wanting too much?

Am I trying to carry more than I can hold?

Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I work I'm not taking any steps closer to anything.

I don't want to do something with no outcome or have outcomes and bring no value to the people I work for. 

I'm the kind of person that really appreciates the small things and strives to receive the bigger rewards.

Knowing that my contributions are truly helpful.

I suppose you don't become a shark from a gold fish over night, or even in a week.

Patience has never been my strong suit but I will have to learn.

Not that I have a choice now. I guess you could say it's too late to turn back.

I am Samara Jade Ward and I achieve whatever it is I put my mind to because I have learnt that there is no other way. 

If you too are trying to find you bearings, always know that dedication and ambition will prevail. You fall down five times, you pull yourself up six.

Time to say goodbye to the nightmares I left behind on the Gold Coast and really stick this period out. 

Feeling this way is inevitable. 

Maybe "'home is where the heart is'", means home is where I am.

Home isn't a place. It's wherever I make it 

To the women and men trying to be the person they always wished to be whether that's a hard worker, a husband or wife, a good parent, just know that you have the strength and ability to conquore all. 

You've got this and so do I.