Dreams to Reality

 Bloggers,

So much has happened since I was last here. 

As I look to my right I am cloaked in city lights, a projector on a building presenting giraffes and the Sydney Harbour bridge. 

In fear of not finding a new apartment in the city before my lease ran out, I viciously applied for every apartment possible.

To my surprise, I was approved by not 1, one but two homeowners.

Just before work finished for the year I packed my bags and flew back to the Gold Coast for 9 days.

Watching the clouds wander through the skies I couldn't help but smile. 

During the 4 months in lockdown, I pleaded for God to save me. So afraid that the voice in my head would defeat me, I asked for help.

Lockdown ended and it was back to square 1: A stranger to anyone that lived here. 

Taking a leap of faith, tapping into my child self, friends gravitated towards me. Some I now hold so close to my heart.

After persistently pushing and persevering, within 3 months I was promoted. Unfortunately not the position I had desired, however it allowed me to access the knowledge and experience I now hold.

On the final day of work for the year, I was interviewed for the promotion I had wanted. 

Returning to the Gold Coast for 9 days weighed a zoo of emotions. 

Overwhelmed - to see so many people within a short span of time and still wanting more but being unable to. 

Angry - Once again there were moments that made me realise that the same bad habits of those around me linger on. 

Sad - After praying and sobbing for months to be with these people, they were in my arms once again. Never did I want to let that feeling go.

Home-Sick - There were times when the lights were off and I was staying at the place I once called home but felt further and further away from the city I wanted to be in. Coming back and not having my own place felt like my stomach was left at Sydney airport. 

Thankful - For a while, it felt like my old friends and family were moving on without me. This empty feeling would creep and eventually I had convinced myself that our time was over. I couldn't be more wrong. Seeing their reactions and feeling their love all around me made me realise how thankful I am to be part of their lives. Distance doesn't change someone's love for you. 

My plane landed on Thursday night and I spent the entire day Friday moving into the new apartment. 

Fireworks crackled as the sky lit up like a disco. Pink, Yellow, Green, falling like shooting stars all around.  

For the first time in my entire life, I genuinely and intensely feel proud of myself. Everything I had ever asked for or said in this blog since 2015 is finally taking place.

I am taking the steps necessary to do what is best for me and my future family. 

It makes me emotional thinking about it. 

From sexual abuse, child pornography victim, homeless, robbed, fire, cheated on, broke to truly living independently, alone, happy, loved, and secure. 

Bloggers,

The people that come into our lives and strip us bare are the ones we must fight so hard to escape.

Whatever reason you tell yourself to cloak the fear that you hide, realise that one day if you work hard enough, freedom of choice, and freedom of how your life will play out, will be in the palm of your hands. 

For those that don't have a supportive network of friends and family, understand that others opinions and judgment only deter you from being the best version of yourself. The power to succeed is all on you. 

Remind yourself that you are strong, you are beautiful and you are successful every day repeatedly until you believe it. 

These life-changing steps will make you a magnet for greatness.

The experiences and the people that hurt you don't define your worth and who you are, but how you respond does.

So.. Take one step at a time with me and allow these moments to enter your life.

Due to the move, I couldn't be with my family this Christmas which brought up some negative feelings but after going out and seeing the place I now call home and realising that this was a small sacrifice for a bigger opportunity made me appreciate being alone. 

To all my angels who left us too soon, I think about you all the time and I've felt your presence throughout this entire journey. 

Christmas has never been the same since Heaven captured my loved ones.

I hope you all had a magical day.

Sending my love to you all. 

Merry Christmas x