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On television you see Methamphetamine awareness advertisements sharing scenario's in which advise you to not approach. They make young or immature minds be seduced by such a "cool" or used drug. They also only share with you the most severe, yet realistic results. They failed to show how undetected the users may be.
I grew up in a Christian family. Only ever been to a private school (even at poorest of times) and learnt morals, respect and manners. The difference between wrong and right. My mum was the same. Growing up in England she was raised respectfully although she had been traumatised at such early ages by violation from those closest to her.
My mum reached 42 years of age before she was introduced to Meth, also know as Crystal Meth and Ice. It's all the invisible signs that should have been the most significant.
If it wasn't for her extreme weight loss, I should have picked up on her scattered mind.
Never remembering what she had said, where she usually puts things.
Usually having dinner around 7pm to 10pm dinners and my sister's being tucked in at almost midnight on a school night.
She always woke up in the mornings to get my sister ready for school to waking up to take them to school late.
Always having a large variety of food to going days without basics - bread, milk.
Her extreme behavioural issues and multiple personalities and every day making it harder and harder to approach her. Locked away in her room from morning till dinner time and then fighting for her attention.
Slowly getting even more broke by the day, I lost sight in who she was and spent half my days at home fighting with her through her bedroom door wondering why she would lock me out.
Eventually she started forgetting to pick me up and wondered why I was so stressed. It was't that she was lying, she truly believed what she was doing was normal.
This drug wasn't a party drug or something that was picked up recreationally.. this drug became her safe place. Her home. She lost sight of her reality.
If it weren't for her anger, it was her sadness. Her confusion and anxiety.
Pushing herself to having panic attacks every time I needed to talk to her lead to us falling apart along with all my other siblings and friends from her past.
Meth isn't recreational.
Meth is your life.
Those advertisements may seem unrealistic, but the only thing that isn't so common is the physical effects. To keep undetected my mum didn't pick at her skin so severely, or scratch as if insects were consuming her. We aren't loaded with money and the only person who feared her most where those who wanted to help her. My mum left me for her pervert boyfriend and chose his words over mine. Although he is also a user. That broke us apart for a life time.
Below is my family 2 years ago (minus my little sister). Now it's Just me. The rest are spread out and if we were ever all to be in one place, I'm sure we wouldn't be as happy as we were this day. My older sister lives in Brisbane where she no longer enjoys my existence and hates the life of my mum. My mum now lives in Logan with my little sister and my brother moved out after it all got too much to live with his best friends family. I did the same - with no choice - and I've moved twice since this house
This is when I wonder how long it will be till a house for me will be my "home".
Everything in my life changed because of Crystal Meth.
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