Happy Birthday

Birthday's are supposed to be a period of celebration marking the day that you were welcomed to this whirl pool of events called "Life". 
My birthday is in 2 weeks and 2 days and there is absolutely nothing I am dreading more. Anyone else hate their birthday all of a sudden?
Let me tell you why..

2014, October 21st
I woke up ready for school and waited for my little sisters to share a good morning, happy birthday, kind of gesture. After a long while of settling and waking up they remembered and shared a pleasant hug followed by a "happy birthday, Samara". 
School was just an average day, as it should be as this age, so I guessed. Of course half of my friends hadn't said happy birthday or even remembered. Oh well, surely it was an accident.
Coming home and leading myself to brothers room where he wasn't present, so I could play Call of Duty until my mum would come up and ask me how my day was and to provide presents. Well, that didn't happen.
Usually - in my family - the birthday person would decide on what we have for dinner and have cake afterwards, except when I arrived home, no one spoke to me. In fact, I tried talking to mum but she wasn't awake and my brother wasn't home.
After a few hours of feeling a little excluded I had asked if I could go to my friends house for the night. I didn't even get an answer from my mum, but her boyfriend who peeped his head out the door to let me know that it was alright for me to go.

2014, October 25th
My mum and her boyfriend decided they would let me have a party for the first time to celebrate my birthday. I really appreciated the hard work they had been putting in and the extra hours they stayed up to complete the renovations of the front and back yard. My friends arrived and got very drunk and from what I know, at least had an alright time which was good enough for me.
I was surrounded by my friends, family and my loved ones.

The next day my mum was asleep for the entirety of the day which lead me to leaving the house again. Recently discovering that my mum was only able to endure all that hard work and time because she was influenced by meth. It shatters me to think that an environment in which my friends were celebrating my day was a day my mum and her friends were celebrating the invention of a glass pipe. 

I barely talk to my mum now and when we do, the fakeness of her happiness kills me.
Literally destroys me how much of a lie her life is now.
My birthday is so close and I'm dreading this horrid reminder of last year and the difference over a 12 month period. The woman I barely know, nor get along with, whom didn't celebrate it with me last year will be falsely sharing her love for me on this day.

Not only that, I will be receiving presents from my new family - Thanks heaps mum - not.
It's not that I don't like or appreciate these loving people. It's just not my family. I'm the intruder. The new cage in the zoo, you know? 
These people having to celebrate my birthday at their own house because I was forced to live there or be shipped an hour away to dads.
The guilt of having to accept the presents they bought me. Which means the money they pulled out of their wallets all for me. As if I hadn't felt awful enough..

I suppose I can hide back the guilt, the memories and the hurt for just a few hours. Avoiding any form of communication to ensure no one will gift me this year. What's a birthday without a true family that wish to share it with you? - WITHOUT consequences, drugs, and the feeling of abandonment.

Happy birthday to me