Canberra Bound #heywire16

Back I am, hovering over Sydney on my journey I have embarked to Canberra for the final steps of my Heywire success. 

Not only am I alone on my travels but barely spoken a word to of my departure of the Gold Coast. Hmm, why are people acting so strange towards me.

vfd'

I returned to my mothers again last night and that homely feeling returned. Realising that I truly am unwanted at my home I am striving for a future for myself.

I do hope Canberra provides me with more opportunities. I am so blessed to have experienced such misfortune to then be turned into something that could potentially change the lives of others. My story finally hit, and before I was 18..

Should I be furious and thankful to my mother for bringing me into this world the way she has. 

I have been trying to understand the people I am surrounded with due to the fact that I don’t know who I am as a person. I don’t know all of my morals, standards, fears and desires. 

I still have many, many years of discovery to go. 

I am thousands of feet in the air and at one point the turbulence and cloudy skies made me fearful of this aircraft. 

The overwhelming feeling of loneliness, yet the pride of this achievement gave me a minor break down while lost within Coolangatta airport. The lump in my throat broke through and I found myself in utter sadness once again.

I am so proud of myself for this achievement though it saddens me to think I did it on my own. I know that makes no sense. But, what is success without someone to share it with? No one understands this battle and how I over came it. Even my in-depth language and attempted explanations couldn’t throw my message across correctly.

Honestly, missing my second week of year 12 for this award made me quite anxious for the new year. One mistake and it’s all over for me. I won’t have the opportunity for BOND universities direct entry. If I don’t make entry… I don’t know what I will do. 

Sure, Griffith is a great school, but my heart is set on achieving greater than average.

This world needs changing and one can’t do that without the highest expertise.

I guess my desire to make change affects my relationships with people. I mean, I have so many people tell me that I try to change them and I don’t even realise that my words come over that way. I don’t think I try to change people, though I put so much trust and expectation into people closest to me. I’d say this is a deep, inner insecurity I have with myself.

I know trying to do this is the biggest mistake one can do, especially in this world.

Fuck you, Sam Harrison. Look where I am travelling to as I type.

Your violations are yet again irrelevant to mine and my families life. I am yet again thousands of miles from the city that you’re in and there’s nothing that brings me more peace.

I have a few goals I wish to achieve this week. These include:

• Building on my communication skills with people I do not know
• Finding some more peace with my experiences in the last 12 months
• Enjoying the presence of my own company
• Make a change, and
• Finding something out about myself

Anyway, I am approximately 25 minutes from landing at Canberra airport after a 30 minute nap for my sleep deprivation. I am excited to update everyone on my discovery. Over - and - out - yet again hovering some city 20 minutes out of Sydney.

Canberra, Here I come.

 Day 4 (Pitching our ideas in Parliament House in front of 200+ MP's)