Reckless Behaviour

The taste of recklessness has touched me again.

That dangerous relationship has consumed me, leaving myself empty handed and full of questions.

I haven't blogged about this before because I was waiting for a relevant opportunity to set it in place.

On the last night of Melbourne, I sat by myself at the edge of the water on a wooden setting across from the Crown. As I soaked in the realisation that it was my final night of freedom, I began to write a blog post. A woman with an accent, somewhere in her mid 20's asked me to join her and her new, 5 friends from across the world.

They offered me a lovely plastic cup full of goon and 21 questioned me on who I am and what it was that brought me to the city of Melbourne. I learnt all about their journey to Australia and listened to an English, Scottish and South American accent as we sang songs and forgot about the  fact that we were all complete strangers.

As I sat there, I realised that moments like these are the ones that consume me. Like this, the time I had blogged about my experience in the mansion.

Lately I have been experiencing times like these more frequently. These memories are a drug to inspire my mind and test my own limits.

I realised, when I moved to Tweed I had come friends with reckless people. The "druggos", the "drop kicks". Even though we all had our own goals, we came together by the fact that we admire the thought of being erratic. Of being everything other than appropriate. I found myself and lost the old versions, over and over again.

When everything fades and loneliness consumes me, I find pleasure in being reckless. All of my past relationships with friends, family, boys, have one common denominator - finding ways to experience as much as we can, as soon as we can.

I feel as though after surrounding myself with new people, I want to change again. These experiences make me feel content because every growing happening, I feel closer to myself, yet further away. Though, I know It's just a step to my self discovery and I'm excited to continue to push myself.