Angels lie too, right?

Is it possible that I well and truly have pushed my limits?

Are the decisions that I am making ones that I would scorn my own child for doing?

Doing something reckless with someone and them turning around and questioning our sanity in doing so.

Maybe I am not as innocent as I had viewed myself.

Oh no.

The sound escaping the clubs again seems to be distracting me from my thoughts. Maybe tonight I should write by candle light and pray for the best of me.

It seems people are departing my life left, right and center. Should I stare at myself in the mirror and contemplate where I went wrong?

Maybe my goals are the same and everything in my life that I wish to have is perfectly admirable and normal to want.

Though maybe my potential no longer exists?

Maybe the spark that I once had has officially and emotionlessly, vanished.

A fear that dwells deep within my heart and heavy head. Am I disappointing those who saw so much inspiration inside of me?

Am I disappointing the worst person of all…

- Me?

Is it possible that I was well and truly unaware of what I was capable of?

My guilty conscience seems to play mind games with me. Now I must pay the Angels to let me back in to InnocentVille before Hell returns here on Earth.

Let’s be realistic. Was I ever welcome there?

Above my bed frame I behold little silver balls with lights in them.

Maybe I was that ball containing all that light.
At the end of the chord there is a ball that is cut in half where there is no light bulb.

Is there a possibility that as of now, I am that destroyed, silver ball with no sparkling light?

I wonder if there is a way to mend it. Mend what I have now broken. Not my relationship with people. I am referring to myself. The way I see me in my own skin.

Should I ensure myself to be more fearful of what people think of me? Did I let my inner demon escape for too long?

Bloggers,

I did something that I shouldn’t have. The worst part is, I can’t un do it. I just have to wish for the best and discover the true consequence of not telling the truth.

A lie that may bury me 10 feet deep in sin. Not only did this lie make me something I am not, It was something I had no regret doing. Until this very moment.

My hazel eyes are now wide open. I see the damage I have done and it’s my turn to either solve this issue or keep it deep in my burdens.