I am so exhausted.
Sleep deprived, used and of course - abused.
For a moment, I stopped. It was as if a mirror appeared and I reflected upon who I am. Who I was in that very second.
I am disgusted.
Long hair, drinking - hey, I am totally up for testing limits but now? eh
I am a Melbourne girl. The thought of old architecture and blogging by the water after a day studying my degree is the most fulfilling sensation.
Playing piano melts me internally and consumes my anger till it no longer exists. Kaboom!
Oh Samara, you have always been interested in fighting, law and politics. Going to Canberra for Heywire changed your life for the better. You became a better woman. You are a better woman.
My passion and art for writing has concrete my stability for now. Honestly though, it's the only thing that is keeping me going. Without my fingers moving, I am unable to comprehend anything.
I feel so alone. My friends are so horrible to me. I provide them with respect, my money and I will risk my own health to ensure they get what they need done.
It breaks my heart, as though splinters are piercing through my chest. A lesson learnt here is that NO ONE is selfless, and everyone is selfish.
Not a day goes by where I am filled with energy and vibrant affection, until something, or someone, tares me down. Another piece of me - vanishing.
What I am trying to blabber out is, I recognise my mistakes.
and I am finally ready to listen and to foresee what I am doing.
Bloggers,
I am ready to be, me. I don't NEED to FIND myself.
I just needed to know that who I was, was the best version of me and curiosity is a dangerous temptation
One month..
Within one month I am going to be transformed - well returned. Returned into old skin, with new experiences. Hopefully making me slightly wiser.
School is my number one priority. So, until then;
"Bye Bye Reckless Mara."
"Hello, Intelligent Samara."
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