It's been a week.
Every day I have created draft upon draft upon draft.
My mind is here, there - dreams and demons.
Last week I had decided that I was sleep depriving my poor body. So, I decided that I would FINALLY get some rest. I am going to bed at nine/ten and waking up the same time the next morning.
Tonight I had a premonition. Thought it was as if I dreamt it last night and then all of a sudden the memory vanished though the unpleasant vibrations hovered uninvited.
If we are being completely honest, school is only a few days away and I am absolutely petrified. The thought overwhelms me and I'm not sure why,
Everything is different now
In the past 3 months.. Samara became someone different.
Although I am ready to return, there will be some altercations. As in, new friends. New perspectives and opinions.
Still battling how to say 'no' to those who need help. Finally realising it's doing more damage to me than it is helping them.
Ugh I wish I could rip my entire skin away. I yearn for humans to see me for me. Why am I trying so desperately? Why am I pushing myself to this dark, unwilling cloud?
Breathe,
Good.
Remember everyone;
No matter what you go through, it is a passing phase. Oh Lord, help me express this. I know when it feels like everything is failing. Eventually, a miracle happens. An unexplainable phenomenon.
It only escalates from there on.
Bloggers,
There is never a reason to overwhelm yourselves. You can push your way through anything.
As for me, well..
Clearly people I have met in the past 3 months of my 'personality-transplant', do not like the confusion of me being two different people. I suppose I understand.
Hurt? Hmm, Of course. But, if I wasn't extraordinary enough for them, or you - I can't even finish that sentence..
Goodnight viewers,
until next time x
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