Failure, Courage and Strength

I hate it.

I hate waking up feeling as anxious as I am. So afraid for the next two weeks to come.

What have I made of myself in the last 12 years of schooling? I have failed myself. I have failed my teachers, my parents and most of all; my image.

4 years I attended that school and my most hurtful, old, best friend, is the one whom suggested we sit together.

What about the friends that I spent 3 years befriending, whom now refuse to look at me in the eyes.

My social life is the least of my worries at the moment.

I am fighting these negative urges more than anything today.

Like a surfboard; I am to ride this wave rather than tumble and turn. I will successfully complete this race.

How can you explain to someone that you are more than what meets the eye?

If I cannot prove this to myself of a daily basis, how am I to employers and everyone in between?

I must remind myself: I won Heywire.

I am the foundation of movies screenings, plays and an entire Ice prevention Campaign broadcasted around Australia.

The voice I never had; came to radio. I spoke in Parliament in front of hundreds of MP's and important people. I am Samara Ward and my name was announced nationally.

If I can catch a crowd of a hundred with my story on Methamphetamines, I should be able to catch myself.

From teachers, friends, parents to university; they have all reminded me of the strength and courage that I behold.

I must fight these last 2 weeks of schooling head on. Apply for full time positions and pray to the Heavenly Father I make it out alive.

This world is no longer cat and dog fights, but Lions and Zebras.

Here I am again, on my knees and my palms. Finding a way to overcome this obstacle that is chaining me to the pits of the ocean.

I am capable of anything. Bond said so, so it must be true.

By the power vested in me, Samara will become the best version possible to prepare myself for the years to come.