Isn't it strange how many words come to mind when we are hurt or in pain.
The rush of energy, the desire, the urge to write about it.
To open up to someone because there's no one else here to share these feelings with.
In a world full of billions, we all feel so empty deep inside. Like a boat with no direction.
Just a Sailor at sea, floating towards something. Anything. Anyone.
Today the weight is resting heavy amongst myself. Not sure if enduring my first intense gym session or just coming to terms with the fact that the one I loved, walked out the door and never came back.
While I drowned in the death of what could have been, he celebrated the moments we were supposed to share together. Mourning. Loving. Supporting.
One minute you're talking about family. About the future, future children, future us, future plans.
Then without warning, with just a moment to scream my last feelings. Like an atomic bomb, that was the last explosion. Infecting those for miles.
Walking with chains attached to my feet.
I need to ride a beast to high fields.
I need to write all of this sadness onto these blogs in order to over come them.
This is my safe place.
Whether the world has access to it or not.
I pray that my viewers see my wallowing and wish to be better. To see where everything went wrong, to prevent or to solve.
A puzzle piece is missing. Bursting into sobs and starring at the chalk filled board posted with Her name on it.
Baby girl, it is all for you.
Filled with a regret that I know I am to let go of. How I need to with you.
Just trying to navigate my way through this chaos.
I don't know if it's the fact that we shared a child or just because I genuinely fell in love with the wrong person, but I considered - I can't complete this sentence.. not for now anyway.
I can't keep going over this, on repeat like a broken record.
Listening to Elvis Presley's Love me Tender, Slowing all of these wild emotions down.
Harmonising with my soul.
Don't cry.
One day this and the next that.
Sometimes with out warning we must rewrite our story. Take an unexpected path and lead up, who knows where?
I shall keep on walking. Sharing love and kindness with all that pass by. Not allowing this depressing feeling to consume me and reflect how I treat others.
It's no one else's fault that he left you. That you were taken for granted. That you were emotionally abused a thousand times over.
You will get through this and you will shine brighter than ever before.
The rush of energy, the desire, the urge to write about it.
To open up to someone because there's no one else here to share these feelings with.
In a world full of billions, we all feel so empty deep inside. Like a boat with no direction.
Just a Sailor at sea, floating towards something. Anything. Anyone.
Today the weight is resting heavy amongst myself. Not sure if enduring my first intense gym session or just coming to terms with the fact that the one I loved, walked out the door and never came back.
While I drowned in the death of what could have been, he celebrated the moments we were supposed to share together. Mourning. Loving. Supporting.
One minute you're talking about family. About the future, future children, future us, future plans.
Then without warning, with just a moment to scream my last feelings. Like an atomic bomb, that was the last explosion. Infecting those for miles.
Walking with chains attached to my feet.
I need to ride a beast to high fields.
I need to write all of this sadness onto these blogs in order to over come them.
This is my safe place.
Whether the world has access to it or not.
I pray that my viewers see my wallowing and wish to be better. To see where everything went wrong, to prevent or to solve.
A puzzle piece is missing. Bursting into sobs and starring at the chalk filled board posted with Her name on it.
Baby girl, it is all for you.
Filled with a regret that I know I am to let go of. How I need to with you.
Just trying to navigate my way through this chaos.
I don't know if it's the fact that we shared a child or just because I genuinely fell in love with the wrong person, but I considered - I can't complete this sentence.. not for now anyway.
I can't keep going over this, on repeat like a broken record.
Listening to Elvis Presley's Love me Tender, Slowing all of these wild emotions down.
Harmonising with my soul.
Don't cry.
One day this and the next that.
Sometimes with out warning we must rewrite our story. Take an unexpected path and lead up, who knows where?
I shall keep on walking. Sharing love and kindness with all that pass by. Not allowing this depressing feeling to consume me and reflect how I treat others.
It's no one else's fault that he left you. That you were taken for granted. That you were emotionally abused a thousand times over.
You will get through this and you will shine brighter than ever before.
No comments:
Post a Comment